Not From You

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I looked for strength
inside of you

I looked for strength
inside of those that I love too

I looked for strength
that I could not find

and when those I love
crushed me too

it was the last straw

I lost myself
somewhere along the way

going through the motions
every day
just trying to stay

It has been so hard
trying to find my way

I couldn’t figure out
how to live again

at times
a total emptiness
one like
I’ve never known

while writing my words
onto this page
I hear myself
through each phrase

trying to say

that I can live again
I can find my way

l can find my voice
it does have something to say

and then
I realize
I was looking for something
that never went away

I was never lost
just never found

so I write
and I write
and I write
it down

and the more that I write
the deeper I breathe

the more new life
I receive

not from you
not from them

but from
what has been hidden
beneath the sorrow
and the grief
and pain

now I find my strength
not out there

not from you
not from them

but from the strength
that was here all along

it was here all along

I have gone full circle
just to return
back home
to me

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