Damn You!

my strength

Damn You!
Damn You!

you were nothing more
than a lie
a front
for the secrets
that I keep

you have betrayed me
you were only a facade
a cover
for the pain and sorrow

you knew
there was no more space
to hold the anguish
and the grief
I once thought you protected me
I lived in awe of you inside of me
my strength

but all you did
was keep me
alone and isolated
how great a strength
you’ve been

that is what they see
but all that you have done
is hide the pain
and anguish
inside of me

you have been
so misunderstood
you are seen
as something to admire
I wore you well

if this were a movie
I’d have the starring role
I would win an Oscar
this would be
my big night!

oh you, strength
you were powerful alright
you have been the wall
built twelve feet tall
the dam that held
the grief and sorrow

you were powerful alright
you hid my lifetime
of heartache and shame

you kept me
locked up tight
a prisoner
within the chambers
of my own heart

all you did was hide
the rage

and denying my life
has been like denying me

you kept me strong
so perfectly composed
so no one would ever know
what was really hidden
behind these longing eyes

no wonder I never spoke
or told my truth
it was you, my “strength”
all those unspoken words
that held back the tears
the grief and sorrow

that is all
you did for me
and now I see you
for what you truly are

you, strength
you let it happen
you let the words flow
without my rhyme or verse
to hide between the lines of verse

thank you
that has been a relief
but Damn You!
Damn You!

you never prepared me
for after you were gone
for the walIs that now
crumble at my feet

where are you
you coward
now that the tears
are pouring
over the spillway

now I realize
why I write
in verse
it is so much safer

then I do not have to say
I am hurting
I am bleeding

that way they could all
just read between the lines
that way I don’t have to say
those words
because maybe
they will just know

it turns out
you have just been
one more heavy burden
choking around my neck

I wore you well
you made me look so strong
when everything was so wrong
and now you’re gone

Damn You!
Damn You!

you made me think I was not alone
but even you have betrayed me

but that is okay
I will show you
I will make it on my own
I will clean up after you
even if it takes forever
and a day

at least I no longer
stand behind your deceit
at least now
I grieve in the light of day
and while it hurts like hell
at least now
I am finally free

I replace you with my pen
my faithful sword
my rhyme and verse
MY rhyme and verse

at least what is in my heart is real
it has always spoke the truth
in my rhyme and verse

I used to be
so proud of you
now I am just
enraged by you

Damn You!
Damn You!


7 thoughts on “Damn You!

    1. Thank you so much for all of your kind words, and for taking the time to read my posts. Having my words speak to someone else makes it so worthwhile! It is great “meeting” you too! Again, thank you! (and yes, I will read your post)

      Liked by 1 person

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