Mistake

image

oh the fear
of you
the sheer terror
of you
that has always been

fear of
saying
doing
being wrong

you made it
impossible to ever try

your grip
was strong
you choked
my life
every day

everything was
already a failure
deep inside

there was
no more space
for wrong

sit up straight
do what you are told
be quiet
perfect

in control
at ALL times
because everything
on the inside
was so out of control

the outside
needed to reflect
the opposite
to hide and cover
the secrets of my soul

the level of perfection
required
was impossible to achieve

perfection
like chains
anchors
hung around my neck
choking my voice
crippling me
an unbearable weight

a prisoner
within the life I lived

never making
my own mistakes

instead
of making my own
I have become
the mistake
of countless others

most people
regret the mistakes
they made

I regret
that I am
the mistake
others made

I am
the mistake
in the lyrics
of their song

I am
the mistake
of all
that went wrong

now the mistakes
that are to be made
are mine
and mine alone
to make

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9 thoughts on “Mistake

  1. Such strong and unique poem can only have its origin in a strong and unique person. I also wondered where the word mistake has its roots and found that it is derived from Old Norse mistaka ‎(“to take in error, to miscarry”).

    I think you have aquired a good sense of what mistake means. To me life is something our soul has taken to make experiences that it would not have the capability to make otherwise. Life thus cannot be a “mistake” but a “take” per se. We might experience that we are walking paths that are not ours, where we suffer and the life we are leading does not feel right. On the other hand there are paths where we absolutely feel that they are ours to follow and where the hardships and difficulties we are facing are nothing but stepping stones to let us progress. The last verse of your poem lets me believe that you are now on this good path for yourself. …and this one can only lead to loving yourself and experiencing true deep love (giving and taking it).

    Jens

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you again for your thoughtful words! If you read my post, “An Untold Life,” you will understand more the meaning of my words. Yes, I am on a path to taking my life back, to living my own life! Again, thank you!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Well then, nice to meet you this way and happy blogging 🙂 I am almost certain that your words can be of big help to others and this can also contribute to you “finding out” who you are and getting to know yourself better.

        Liked by 1 person

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