Breaking The Silence!

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what does breaking the silence
of childhood sexual abuse
and rape
even mean

a poem, a song
words spilled onto the paper
falling onto deaf ears

protect the children
know the signs
keep them safe
keep it in your mind

and when they tell
do not yell
protect them
say I believe you
it is not your fault

a few years pass
the child is a little older
with their eyes they see
their ears can hear

everything society
proclaims is right feels so wrong
for they see that he is everywhere
in the commercials
with their sex appeal
in the shows, the movies
with sex the goal
without it would you watch
would you buy the ticket

everyone lines up
waiting to see
to celebrate all that
has crippled me

a child abused
an adolescent confused

she wakes up
from a nightmare
finally free
only to see
him in you
and in society

now an adult
looking around
nothing was at it appeared then
nothing is as it appears now

then he just wanted
what he wanted
today he wears a suit and a tie
a corporate success
clean shaven, a husband
a dad, a male
we call a ”man”

I see them all
worshipping sex
as the gift

the one that broke me
breaks children everyday

young boys
they party with young girls
they drink and they drive
they sleep together
with the absence of love

we call it experimentation
growing up

with no thought of
what it does to them
or this society we now live in

how do you tell
can you ever break free
when everyone around
identifies more with him
than with me

the rate we are going
it is easier to believe
that we will be more likely
to accept their rights
their preferences
than we are to protect
our children from them

to even care

not many speak
it appears as though few care
I ask myself why

could it be the secret
everyone else holds inside
not wanting to bring to light
to shed a light on
the secrets held inside
of the “men” among us
who also live a lie

this is breaking our children
for if or when they break their silence
what kind of society
is there to offer them

before our children
can break their silence
and really be free
the truth, the secrets
no one wants to speak
what is wrong, we are told is right
that mirrors him
must be made right
within society

is it just the silence of children
what happened to them
the only truth that must be told
or is the silence of society
also what needs to be broken

the lies we live
in society
what is wrong
with what should be safe

when society, the media
our culture is as screwed up
as those who molest
our children
how safe can they really ever be

when women proclaim
we have been set free
free from what, free to be what
what really is our reality

are we only free
still to be only whatever men
say we can be
that as long as we are
sexual, promiscuous, indecent
while we reach for our goals

could we ever have been “free”
if we didn’t hand ourselves over
now willingly
to become everything we
fought to free ourselves from

to be just like them
even worse
is that freedom

we have confused our children
sacrificed them
created an environment
more favorable
for those who can’t control themselves
in prey of our children

when we over sexualize ourselves
we over sexualize our children

this is not an
isolated story
this is an
epidemic

if women don’t change
themselves
demand change in our young boys
and in men

our children suffer
they pay the price
for our “freedom”

now we are in need to be freed
from ourselves
from each other as women

we have as women
enslaved and objectified ourselves
more than men ever did
somehow because we do it willingly
that is freedom

I don’t get it, I don’t understand
women don’t protect themselves
or each other
how can we ever protect our children

it is mostly men
who molest our girls and our boys

it is what women call freedom
liberation
that offers these children
no safe haven
to grow up in
to recover in

we see what we saw
in the perpetrator
in you and in them

when women or men
have no self control
no decency
they appear to a child
as the ghost of those who
hurt them

each one
who harmed me
wanted what they wanted
with no regard
for me

the perpetrators
couldn’t control themselves
they wanted what they wanted

when our society can be
described with the same
words

how can we stand up to this
much less defend
our children

we are entertained by
“fashioned” by
and “designed” by
all that drove him
to hurt me
and hurt them

when children tell
when we break the silence
can there be any healing

when what drove him
drives our society too
everywhere we turn

when his ghost is seen
on your TV
in the movies you watch
in how you dress
and interact with the world

do we remain silent as a society
because we are more like him

the messages this sends
is confusing
is there no end

where is love in this equation

if life is only
about a love of sex
and our sexuality
and not relationships
connections
or commitments
how different really is society
from him

if society’s behavior reflects
more of him
what does breaking the silence
really mean

and then
when the silence
is finally broken

if he feels more comfortable
in our society
and sees the hypocrisy
in what we say
compared to what we do
where does this leave our children
if society is living
the same secrets he keeps

men are never going to be
a moral compass
for society

if women don’t
wake up soon

God help us!

as women
whatever happened
to the real inner beauty
of our femininity
the class, the grace
the gentle and kind
inner strength
where our power
and intrigue
used to be

we replaced it with
our harsh, loud and brash
outward kind of masculinity
and covered it with
sensuality

women are more
objectified today
with women supposedly free
than we ever were
before we lost the beauty
of our femininity

we haven’t really gained
anything meaningful
but we have lost
something sacred
our dignity

we have created
a society
more reflective of
a child molester
as he only wants
what you want

and so
as a society
we look the other way

we send our money
willingly to the faces
seen in tragedies
displayed upon our TV
and think that makes us kind
and caring

all the while
turn our backs
on the destruction
of our own children
put at risk
for the pleasures
we seek

if a man
can see this
and understand
God bless you!

maybe, just maybe
men will be the ones
to save women from themselves
and our children
from other men

if, as men
you know what men are like
why don’t you save
the women
and children
from the danger
of this epidemic
in our society

why don’t you teach
boys and young men
to respect and cherish women
to behave in a way
that makes them worthy
of the love and intimacy
women have to offer

can we not at the very least
add love, connection, commitment
to the equation of our sexuality
can we not add our humanity

otherwise we are everything
the pedophiles are
we can be described with
the same qualities
and characteristics

if you want to touch a woman
your partner
can it not at least be
with hands that cherish
her / him
as the gift

then and only then
can the contrast
between the perpetrator and you
be distinct

can we not
all live our lives
our sexuality
with our humanity

our children
me
we are watching
we can see
you cannot deceive
the ones who’s life
has been destroyed
by this reality

it is the elephant
sitting in the center
of our society

and it is
yours to face
or not

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28 thoughts on “Breaking The Silence!

  1. Just incredible, the insight and wisdom you have brought to the table is fantastic. Thank you for not straying away from these “tougher” topics. Beautiful poem with a powerful and well need message to our day and age.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much for your response! I wrote this a few weeks ago and almost threw it away. We have my husband to thank for this. He made me promise to never throw any of my writing away. I just came back to it and realized that it was something important. When I wrote it I wasn’t sure I could put it out there. These thoughts have been burning inside of me since I was twelve years old. It is a pleasure to meet you!

      Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you! If only we could live our lives as human beings and not just sexual beings. And keep our sexuality sacred! It really is damaging all of us! Thank you for your comment. It is nice to meet you!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Well said poem and powerful. As you told your story there were certain points that touched onto my sexual abuse also. They kind of give you a life sentence. I may not have the anger as I once did but I will always have those memories won’t I forever!

    Liked by 1 person

        1. My friend I am sorry that it has happened to you as well and this has happened so very long ago. Sometimes I still think it has not happened at all but then I think if this hadn’t happened what would I be like. I also feel this shouldn’t be happening but it is eveywhere overseas as well. I think knowledge and education are half the battle and there should be a class that educates children and to tell so they don’t have to go through this alone. No one should as well as other sexual crime. It is just a heinous act.

          Liked by 1 person

        2. Yes it is! It is destroying lives every day. Yet as a society it is overlooked. I often wonder what it is doing to the world as a whole. So many broken people barely alive… And certainly unable to live a full life.

          Liked by 1 person

  3. Eventually people will have to face it as well as other issues. I think there is too much technology for people to play with that they actually heaven forbid should talk about something that isn’t happening to them. Society nowadays seem to have deviate away from sympathy and empathy.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. These words are quite powerful. We far too often err on the side of the perpetrator. How could Uncle Max do such a thing? Or, Steve is an honor student, you will ruin his career. As with many things in life, we fail to see this from the victim’s standpoint. They have already been victimized, let’s not treat them as criminals, too. I would add whether this is the military, Catholic Church or college campus, we must not first think to protect the institution. If we do not indict the incumbents who wrong people, then the institutions are devalued. Sorry for the soapbox. Keith

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I am profoundly moved by your words. I know so many of us have been approached, or harmed in so many ways. The truth is that as sick as the violator may be, nothing is more sick than those who stand by allowing this to happen. Thank you for sharing. G-uno

    Liked by 1 person

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