My Father’s Words

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Roses always remind me of him!

My father died in the middle of winter on a bitter cold day in the middle of January. He had just come inside from shoveling snow. He was standing at the stove cooking, and I was standing close by in the doorway. We were alone, but I can’t remember what we were talking about at the time. I have always wished I could remember his last words to me.

Years later I was married with three children. One of my children, who was a teenager at the time, asked me if we could go for a drive. We were on a back road, when they asked me to pull over. While we sat there in the car, they gave me the following song. They told me to listen to it , and that they believed if my father were alive today this is what he would say to me! And I don’t have to tell you what happened when I heard the lyrics that day or anytime I listen to this song!

So today, I take those lost memories, the words of my father that I can’t remember and replace them with the words of this song. A gift from my father given to me through my child and remembered today.

“Winter” by Tori Amos (lyrics follow)

Snow can wait, I forgot my mittens
Wipe my nose, get my new boots on
I get a little warm in my heart
When I think of winter
I put my hand in my father’s glove

I run off where the drifts get deeper
Sleeping beauty trips me with a frown
I hear a voice,
You must learn to stand up
For yourself
’cause I can’t always be around

He says,
“When you gonna make up your mind
When you gonna love you
as much as I do
When you gonna make up your mind
‘Cause things are gonna
change so fast”

All the white horses are still in bed
I tell you that I’ll always want you near
You say that things change, my dear

Boys get discovered as winter melts
Flowers competing for the sun
Years go by and I’m here still waiting
Withering where some snowman was

Mirror, mirror,
where’s the crystal palace
But I only can see myself
Skating around the truth who I am
But I know, dad, the ice is getting thin

When you gonna make up your mind
When you gonna love you
as much as I do
When you gonna make up your mind
‘Cause things are gonna change so fast

All the white horses are still in bed
I tell you that I’ll always want you near
You say that things change, my dear

Hair is gray and the fires are burning
So many dreams on the shelf
You say I wanted you to be proud of me
I always wanted that myself

When you gonna make up your mind
When you gonna love you
as much as I do
When you gonna make up your mind
‘Cause things are gonna change so vast

All the white horses have gone ahead
I tell you that I’ll always want you near
You say that things change, my dear
Never change, all the white horses

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2 thoughts on “My Father’s Words

  1. Blue,
    The world speaks to us. All we need to do is listen 🙂
    “Winter” is definitely one of my favourite songs of Tori Amos. I love the melody, and now even the lyrics make sense to me. Words from a father for his beloved daugter delivered by his grand-children. What a lovely thought. A beautiful post!
    Jens

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You actually brought this song back to me through your blog. I listened to a Tori Amos song on your blog and it made me think of this song. And I must say I heard it very different this time, I was able to take it all in and see how profoundly it fit with my last day with him: it being winter, the ice is getting thin, things are going to change so fast, and I heard my father say never change… So thank you for that!

      Liked by 1 person

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