This is Blue’s husband speaking today. Since Blue started this blog, I’ve been standing close enough to catch her if she falls, but far enough so she could do this on her own power. I am writing today because someone is trying to knock her over, and I’m stepping in to catch her.
A couple of days ago, Blue published a post titled “These Are My Thoughts, These Are My Feelings, This Is My Blog.” In this post, she called out the women who sexually exploit themselves, and then blame it on their own victimization. Blue made the point that if someone is going to blame their self-exploitative behavior on the abuse they suffered, then the perpetrator who abused them could also make the same claim. They could say that they abused you, because they were abused in their past. If we are to allow these excuses, we may as well do away with the criminal justice system.
Blue was making the point that we are all responsible for our actions, regardless of what has been done to us in the past.
I can tell you that very early in our relationship, Blue pointed out to me that my actions in this world were my responsibility, and not the inevitable result of my past. So believe me when I tell you that I know how hard it is to hear this. But I eventually accepted that responsibility.
In her post, Blue pointed out that someone had compared Blue being raped by a man as an adult to their own promiscuity as an adult.
Now, after Blue posted “Irreparable Damage,” a poem detailing the pain and turmoil she feels as a result of being abused, this same person came back and accused Blue of “choosing” those feelings. They tried to compare their behavior to Blue’s feelings. I’m sorry but it doesn’t work that way. Actions and feelings are two different things, and trying to make this comparison was a low blow.
You claim to know the pain of abuse. You claim you have been abused. And yet, you abuse. What kind of person tries to further wound a person who shares your wounds? Believe me, she’s been hurt enough. I live with Blue, I’m the one who holds her when she is crying, I know the pain she lives with day in and day out. And if you can do this, I have my doubts that you actually live with this same pain.
This attempted comparison did not get you off the hook. But it did get you blocked from this blog. Your comments will no longer be seen. So please, do yourself a favor, and stop following this blog immediately.
Attacks such as this are not tolerated here. These are her thoughts, these are her feelings, this is her blog. Don’t tarnish it.