Darkness

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I am glad I was there
to pour my light 
into our children

For the only light
in them
came from me

You, you only had
darkness
to offer them

In protecting you
I have hurt 
myself deeply

I have lost 
so much more
than I ever knew

All for the price
of protecting you

I may only be left
with crumbs
but at least
I am free of you

You may have been successful
pouring your darkness
into one of our children

But I was at least able
to save two

You may have been successful
in getting her to hurt me

She may have
tried to destroy me

But after
the fight of my life
I survived her too

Our daughter
turned out to be
just like you

She let me fall in love
with her children
then withheld them from me

She held them over my head
like a weapon
to control me

Because she also
has no love
inside of her
she could not stand
the fact
that her children
loved and adored me too

Their love for me
was the greatest love
that I ever knew

So she took them away
she is so much like you

I lost them all
because of you

And in the process
almost lost
myself completely too

Losing them
was one of the greatest
sorrows of my life

It was so much harder
to escape her
than it was you

Nothing, nothing
hurts more
than to have
your own flesh and blood
that which you gave birth to
that came from inside of you
to turn on you

She wanted nothing more
than to destroy me
the one
who gave her life

How can that
which came from inside of me
after I nurtured
and poured my love into her
turn on the one
who gave her breath

But she did
and after years and years
of almost losing
all that was left of me
I held on tight
for the true fight of my life

I crawled my way back
I finally found
my voice
my own hopes
and dreams

You may have taken
so much from me
and nearly destroyed me
time and time again

But even with
all that I have lost

I am more of a person
than you
will ever be

I know how to
live with nothing
I have survived
what you never could

You only know how
to take
and to destroy

In the face
of love and kindness
you crushed me
and spit on that too

There is nothing of me
left that you can take

I have lost it all
because of you

There is nothing of me
that could have ever
been enough for you

For you love
the darkness

And after all
that you have done
to me
I am still filled
with light

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8 thoughts on “Darkness

        1. I am so sorry. Then you do know how heartbreaking this can be. I don’t think many people are aware how possible this is to happen. These men (spouses) are so evil in doing this to their own children. My heart goes out to you. This has been the hardest thing I have faced in my life. It almost totally broke me.

          Liked by 1 person

        2. Yes yes I do, and I would never wish it upon anyone.
          They are pure evil with no limits. I’m hoping that one day Karma will come back with a vengeance and I will make sure I have my popcorn ready 🙂
          So so sorry you went through this. But don’t worry, everything happens for a reason.

          Liked by 1 person

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