The Wound I Carry

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you
you broke me
you crushed me

you took away
every sense of myself
you made me
disappear completely

it was only you
that mattered
everything
everything
was all about you

and before I could
even know
what it was like
to love or lose
you made me
experience a rejection
that I should never
ever
have known

but you
you killed me
before my life
ever began

it has affected
every aspect of my life
no one saw
and no one
has ever known

and one by one
each one after you
just put
an exclamation point
upon the fact
that I am
the disposable one

it is a wound I carry
that makes every love
that tries to enter
my life
have a sting
and a bite

one that I can’t shake
even if I try
with all my might

the only way
to be free
of its pain so deep
is to be by myself
and never risk a thing

it is the only way
to not feel the pain
or the sting

so I am damned
if I do
and I am damned
if I don’t

the isolation and pain
are mine
and mine alone

with each try
the pierce to my core
remains a reminder
of why
the only way
for me to survive
is to recoil

the pain is too deep
my sense of self
you erased

expecting me
to recover
is like asking me
to rise from the dead

you have turned
every should have been
and would have been
into a life
that no matter
how hard I try

how much
I risk
this brick wall
stops all
that could have
ever been…

or ever
will be
for me…

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3 thoughts on “The Wound I Carry

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