Just Get Over it!

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Society needs to get over the notion that sexual abuse, domestic violence, or rape is something someone can just get over.

It changes who we are, who we become. We are left wanting to hide from you if you can’t get over the fact that our lives have been forever changed.

This blog post was inspired by a comment I received in response to my post, Somewhere Over The Rainbow, by Patricia of My Journey Into Darkness. A part of her first comment was,” If only abuse had been reported… if only abuse had been reported.” And a part of her second comment was, ” People don’t understand why you don’t just get over it”

Can we learn to manage what happened to us? Yes! But everyone could make that so much easier if they could get over the idea that abuse is something you just get over.

In all actuality abused individuals do a better job surviving abuse than society does in managing their views of and responses to abuse. So everyone needs to get over all of their notions about us just getting over it.

We are alive, we have survived. Everyone needs to understand how brave and remarkable it is that we managed to do that. Expecting us to feel loved or valued is a huge leap.

So, if anyone wants to be even remotely helpful, you need to first get over the notion that abuse is something you just get over.

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7 thoughts on “Just Get Over it!

  1. Yep. It’s still difficult to accept that events of decades ago can affect my mood & ability to function today. But that’s how sexual abuse works. It’s like a time bomb. Being able to talk about it openly is a huge first step in recovery. If I’d been able to talk about it at the time, well…. it would have been stopped for one thing. And it wouldn’t have become such a problem for me.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. The shame keeps us silent, the silence keeps us alone and stuck, and makes it impossible to just get over it. We need people to help us, not judge us. I am beginning to realize that a good friend is priceless in the process of rediscovering ourselves. Being loved, and accepted, and listened to, and understood goes a long way in creating hope. We often go a lifetime never hearing our own voices or our own story. To see it through our own eyes now and those of someone who really cares is invaluable.

      I am so sorry for what happened to you. I also wanted to say that it is wonderful that you are speaking up as a man. I believe you have it much harder than women do in being able to speak your truth (this is my opinion). I believe the challenges are so much more complex for young boys and men. Your voice is so needed. It really is remarkable what you are doing. I believe you can help so many.

      Liked by 2 people

  2. So, so true! On point again! I love it. You can’t “just get over” these things. And I hate it when people victim-blame and ask, “What did you do wrong?” “What were you wearing?” “How much did you drink?” “Why didn’t you leave him?”
    No. Blame the abuser/rapist/attacker NOT the victim. Love it!

    Liked by 1 person

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