Just Say Thank You!

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Compliments are hard to receive for many people. When you have been abused, they are often impossible to receive.

My husband has spent years trying to “teach” me to just say “Thank you” when I receive a compliment. I used to immediately state that it was not true or freeze and say nothing when I received a compliment. Then I would be left worrying that I may have hurt someone’s feelings or seemed rude.

When you don’t believe you are worthy of love or anything good in your life, compliments do not compute in your brain or in your heart.

I often cringe and feel very uncomfortable when I receive a compliment, but mostly I freeze. When I catch myself, I will simply say, “Thank you!” The thank you is for the person giving the compliment. I struggle to take it in.

The other morning, just after I woke up, my husband walked into the room, looked at me, and said, “You look beautiful!” I looked at him strange and asked him why he said that and he stated, “You look beautiful in the mornings when you wake up. Your hair is long and wild and you just look beautiful.” He has said this to me many times when I wake up in the morning, looking at me very fondly. But I never take it in or really believe it.

Later that day, I realized that I could receive no greater compliment from my husband than that I look beautiful when I wake up in the morning! As women we often think that make-up or the way we dress is what makes us beautiful. When for our husbands or any man that really loves us, we probably look the most beautiful when we are our natural selves and let our inner beauty shine.

Now if only we could believe that and just say, “Thank you!”

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17 thoughts on “Just Say Thank You!

  1. A wonderful post and a wonderful husband. I agree with you about saying ‘Thank you’, it can be difficult at times, but it gets easier over time and more significant. Thank you for sharing this post today. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Having this blog has given me lots of practice saying thank you! ☺ And by the way, thank you!

      What is really strange is that this was hard to post, because it has a compliment in it! My husband chose the post today! And it just happened to be my 100th post!

      Again, thank you! I hope you have a wonderful day!

      Liked by 3 people

    1. I can only imagine how hard it must be for you after all you have gone through. I am only beginning to realize how much I don’t connect a lot of my struggles with my past. Which makes everything even harder. Hopefully this will help you to make some of those connections too. Thank you Lynz!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I never understood this! I get upset when i get a gift and one time i was so sad and thought it was weird! Someone gave me an expensive coffee machine and i was sad not happy. But now its better. This is very good to tell us, thank you xx

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Yes, being disconnected as a result of abuse makes our lives more complicated. Making these connections helps to make more sense out of our responses and emotions. I am glad this was helpful to you!

          Liked by 1 person

  2. I never really thought about this before. It has taken me almost 20 years with my partner so that I can now smile and say thank you to a compliment. It is only the last few years that I have stopped saying sorry after anyone told me something such as, “Oh, I forgot my pencil.” I would immediately apologize, “Oh, I am so sorry!” Didn’t matter what it was.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes, saying I’m sorry even when it wasn’t my fault was another thing my husband helped me with. Thank you for pointing this out. These all may seem strange to other people, but the many similarities of the effects of abuse are often thought provoking. Thank you for your insightful comment! It is nice to meet you!

      Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you! Yes, I am blessed! When love comes into your life it is not the end of the struggles, but the beginning of a different struggle of learning to trust deeply and take in that love. My husband learned to be patient and kind to me through my fears. The beginning was very difficult for both of us. Once he understood what was going on inside of me, he became very patient and understanding.

      There are men who can and will be there, and walk with you through this journey. And I wish this for you!

      Liked by 1 person

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