If I Could Roll Back Time

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If I could roll back time
I would have eaten my own ice cream cone
When I was a child
Instead of holding it out in front of me
While my sister ate it

What I wanted would have mattered

If I could roll back time
I would have ran away
Into the dark of night all alone
And felt safer
Than what happened instead

I would have pushed back
Kicked and screamed
I would have done anything
To get away and be free

I would have been safe

If I could roll back time
I would have never stopped
Until someone heard me
Until someone saved me

I would have been wanted

If I could roll back time
I would have told everyone
Even strangers
That he would not let me out
That he was hurting me

I would have been protected

If I could roll back time
I would be fierce and relentless
In my pursuit in having others
Think twice before they tried
To take advantage of me

I would have been respected

If I could roll back time
I would have felt comfortable
In my own skin
I would have been brave enough
To speak up
To ask questions
And to answer questions

I would have belonged

If I could roll back time
I would have believed
That I was smart
That I was creative
That I could make a difference

I would have dreamed my own dreams
Lived my own plans
Walked my own path

I would have been supported

If I could roll back time
I would have fought back
Instead of always trying to protect
Those who hurt me
And I wouldn’t have been filled with guilt
For doing so

I would have been allowed to exist too

If I could roll back time
This pain that now lingers inside of me
Would not exist
I would be free

I would have cried all my tears
I would have mattered

If I could roll back time
I would have a sense
That some things were mine
That I was a part of life too
That I belonged here with the rest of you!

I would have been loved!

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14 thoughts on “If I Could Roll Back Time

      1. You are very welcome! I think it was meant for me to find you. I will be honest, I am not dealing with what you have dealt with. But I am dealing with a lot of heart ache due to pain that my girls are going through right now. If you look up :But I am not dreaming” on my site you will understand more. That and Dropping the Mask. Bless you for your honesty and my prayers are with you!

        Liked by 1 person

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