“Freedom For All”

I wanted to explain any confusion that may have been created over my blog post yesterday. I originally posted it under a different title and quickly received a Like from someone with a pornographic blog. The name of the blog, the subtitle, and their Gravatar were all pornographic. This was very disturbing and clearly an attempt at trying to be offensive.

I immediately deleted the blog post. Fortunately someone else had liked my post just before I deleted it so that now their Gravatar shows up in my notifications instead of the offensive one. There is no current way to delete a Like or Gravatar from your blog. Hopefully this is something WordPress will correct in the near future.

My husband reported this person to WordPress and posted a question on the Support Forum regarding how to get rid of the offensive notification.

This has also made me afraid to use tags any more. Since I don’t want to attract such a person to my site. What is really confusing, is that I used different tags on that post. And they had nothing to do with sexual abuse. 

This would have been offensive at any time, but yesterday was especially difficult for me. It actually was a trigger that sent me spiraling into fear and becoming very emotional.

I understand freedom of speech and I support it. But where is my right to freedom? I didn’t go onto their blog and harass them. Why should they be free to spread their filth where it is not wanted? When this happens, there is no “freedom for all” any longer. Without respect for others, no one has the right to freedom. Our freedoms were based on a given of common decency and freedom for all. Which in itself implies a respect for each other.

I get that a lot of people don’t want religion to dictate their lives, and I agree. But why should these same people be able to dictate their indecency to the rest of us? They are doing the very thing they don’t want done to them. A first grader could figure this out. But somehow we can’t as adults in the world today.

In the United States we have helicopters and airplanes that spray to kill mosquitoes in areas where they were found to carry certain viruses. There is no threat of any virus as great as the epidemic of sexual abuse throughout the whole world. This is a global epidemic. And yet we pretend that pornography and the over sexualization of our culture is “normal” and not a problem. As though there is no connection.

It is very hard for me not to be angry at even women for this issue. How can we be for women’s liberation as we know it today when it has done nothing to make this problem better? In fact, it has only gotten worse. Women participate in this problem every bit as much as men do. Somehow pre-women’s liberation, men were the problem. Now that women are just like them, joined them, it is somehow okay. I don’t get it. What are we fighting for? Short skirts, jobs, equal pay, indecency, the freedom to sexualize ourselves… to be just like men. What of any of this is that damn important if we and our children can’t even receive the most basic respect as a human being?

Quite frankly, I am sick and tired of hearing men say they LOVE the female body. We are not just a body, we are human beings. I wonder if men would really enjoy walking around having to see the sexual parts of other men’s bodies everywhere. Would they like it if we as women, lusted for and looked at men’s bodies in the same way with all the perfection they love to see in their fantasy world of women’s bodies? What if the body parts of men were hanging out and you NEVER matched up… YOU were NEVER good enough? If we as women, were always wanting someone else other than YOU! I don’t know what about any of this makes men think that most women are comfortable with it either.

And I am also sick and tired of people who see all of this as good and as though they somehow have a more superior intelligence and mindset. We cannot afford to continue to lie to ourselves. And we cannot afford for men or women to continue to be ignorant in how their behaviors negatively effect others. And if you don’t care, then you are a part of the problem.

You can say what you want about this issue, but I don’t think we can remain silent and pretend anymore. I personally see the resemblance of a predator in every mindset wrapped around pornography, and the indecency women currently fight to have the “right” to display in public. I am angry at us all, men and women alike.

We have sick thinking and their is no way to justify any of it. How many children have to be sexually abused? How many men and women have to be raped? How long do women like me have to be uncomfortable in this world around men who lie to themselves and the world, and women who are indecent everywhere you go and try to justify the same? I see the similarities of a predator in it all.

And if anyone thinks all of this is okay, nothing anyone else does should ever be upsetting you. After all, they too are just doing whatever they want to as well.

What is so wrong with love and connection and respect? Have we all lost our minds? I am not just a body… we are not just a body. And I resent anyone who sees us as such. Women do not exist for the sexual gratification of men. Sex does not exist just for the sexual gratification of men. It is meant in the context of love, connection and devotion. You know, someone you would die for, give your own life for. Not someone whose life you would willingly take and throw away without a thought, whether through a visual or physical means. We need to all stop thinking like and acting like predators, as though all this has no negative effects. For God’s sake, it is ruining marriages, destroying families and relationships at epidemic proportions before we even touch the epidemic of sexual abuse in our world. This is no small problem and we need to stop pretending it is.

Even if you think this is all just a joke and okay. Where are my rights to live in a world that doesn’t include the mindset and mentality of a predator? And by the way, they don’t think what they are doing is all that bad either. I would venture to say that most of what we have been convinced is okay in this context has been propagated by psychopaths throughout the ages… and today we see ourselves as “normal” as we cling to their sickness we have come to embrace so willingly. It is as though we are working hard to try and make psychopaths of us all. Someone who doesn’t care about anyone but themselves. But at what price? And when will the price ever be too high?

By the way, in case you didn’t notice, I am very upset!

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14 thoughts on ““Freedom For All”

  1. “And yet we pretend that pornography and the over sexualization of our culture is “normal” and not a problem. As though there is no connection.”

    Yes. There is a connection. A deep connection. I don’t know how this happens. I don’t understand the attraction to this behavior but I know it is real. And it is a very big problem. All I know is that it hurts like hell when you are the one who is the target of the abuse or the wife who is tossed aside. It’s sickening. It’s maddening. They who hurt and indulge feel they deserve what they are doing…they have an entitlement mentality. It’s purely selfish motives. And that’s it. I rage with you on this topic. It hits a deep deep wound for me…many wounds, really. I have SO much more to say…

    Liked by 2 people

    1. My heart aches deeply for you!!! This is why I feel such rage and passion for this topic. Unlike those who believe they are entitled, the rest of us have to speak up and come together. We are all pretending what is wrong is somehow normal. There are even scientists out there who are sick enough to validate such behavior. The last thing any man needs is one more reason to think that their thoughts, desires, and actions are perfectly normal. The reality is we have all been conditioned and lied to and we can be reconditioned and have the truth told. Our lives depend upon it. Our very existence depends upon it. I was terrified to post this… to speak my truth. I too have lived on the dark side of this. Our spirits are keen at recognizing the qualities of a predator. When these qualities lie within most of society… there is no way for sexual abuse, rape, or the respect of women to EVER be taken seriously. We all need to be willing to face the personal horror of our own participation in this matter. Then and only then do we have even a fighting chance. This has all been locked up inside of me desperately wanting to be released. Thank you for sharing your thoughts here. I could only hope I wasn’t alone in these thoughts and feelings.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Blue, I am so sorry this happened to you and you have every right to be upset. I am sorry because I know in my heart that the demand for porn is fueled every time someone visits a porn site. Having spent many years doing exactly that I feel that I in owe you an apology and hope that you can forgive me. This very thought has been on my mind for some time as I was asked by Freelancer to contribute to a blog , https://centerforsurvivors.wordpress.com/ Now I am certain this is what I am to do. Porn is nothing more that a cheap, soulless imitation of the sexual/spiritual/emotional relationship that God intended a man and woman to have in the confines of a committed relationship. Love and respect, within marriage and without! I agree whole heartedly with everything you say, there is certainly a lot of blame to go around. I am sorry for the pain it has caused you but I am glad that you expressed yourself in this post as it has galvanized something in me.
    Blessings Dear Sister, I hope you can find some Peace tonite, Barney

    Liked by 1 person

    1. How can I not forgive you? I couldn’t ask more from any man. We have all been lied to. There is NOTHING about pornography and “sex” that makes a man a REAL man. That is all cheap and easy. To face yourself and own your actions takes a great deal of courage. These are the actions of a REAL man. Seeing and knowing what it does to your wife, girlfriend, daughters as men could change any man with a heart. I think most men pretend not to know but secretly REALLY don’t care how it makes women feel. I can only hope I expressed it in at least some small way. I have a feeling this was almost as hard for me to post as it was for you to respond to. Thank you for your honesty. I pray God helps you to find a way to live with such openness and honesty that will change everything for you and your wife. I am truly moved that this meant so much to you. You have also helped me more than you know. I have lived all my life believing no one would want to hear my words when it comes to this issue. Which has frustrated my husband. This burns with a passion in me. I truly wish for you and your wife the very best!

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      1. Thank you Blue, I shared your post with her and my reply as well as your comment on my last post. It wasn’t that difficult as the Holy Spirit had already been working me over on this topic. I am kinda thinking that my contribution to that site is going to take the form of an open letter of apology to all women, starting with my wife. Blue, you expressed yourself very well in your post and I think covered every angle, well done! I’m thinking I would like to reblog it later when I have my contributing post ready. What do you think?

        Liked by 1 person

        1. I am not sure how to do it in the WP app, but when you view your blog online, you will see the word “edit” at the top of each comment. This will allow you to edit all comments. This is helpful for correcting your own mistakes and others if you need to.

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  3. I have had that happen once and the rest of the time it went to spam and it was VERY upsetting. I didn’t read your post. Was it this one? Did you repost it with no tags? I hate that that awful person found you and ruined your day!

    Liked by 1 person

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