To Answer The Question Why?

Vote

I have been reading articles and blogs for a very long time where people keep asking the question, “How can anyone vote for someone like Trump with what he has said about women?” I want to answer this question.

First let me say, I did not vote for Trump and I don’t disagree with anything I hear others say about him. This was actually the first presidential election since I became an adult that I did not vote. So I hear you and I am not disagreeing with you, but I do want to answer the question of how people could vote for him.

I remember sitting in my Psychology class while the professor asked the students what they thought about Bill Clinton and his behavior. The classroom was filled with women and everyone spoke up freely and said that what he did in his personal life had NO effect on his presidency. Even the women in the classroom said what he does in his private life is none of our business. NO ONE CARED… not the women or the men in the entire classroom.

They said all of this even though what he did was not just in his personal life. He did these things on the job in the Oval Office. But no one cared. They all laughed and thought it was ridiculous that anyone would care. It was no big deal.

I sat there stunned and silenced. I already felt unsafe, and this added to my fears and lack of safety in this world. I no longer just feared men, but this increased my fear of women and their part in the disrespect and abuse of women.

To give you a little background of where I was at the time, I had recently divorced my psychopathic ex-husband who was abusive to both me and my children. I was in therapy during this time for the sexual abuse I had experienced for years as a child, as well as the abuse I experienced as an adult woman. And after several years of trusting this therapist (whose wife worked for the Rape Crisis Center), I was abused by my therapist. During one of my sessions, when I walked into the room and turned to sit down, I heard the click of the lock on the door… and then was raped by my therapist. This classroom experience happened just after the rape.

At the time, I was struggling to remember what class I just came out of and what class I had next. I was having panic attacks and trying to finish my last semester in order to graduate. I never could have imagined that I was going to have to fight this hard and study and take tests under such horrific circumstances going on in my life.

I was in no position to speak up… I couldn’t. I was drowning in pain and sorrow and fear. I went from one place of hell into another. And all the women around me in that room were supporting Bill Clinton. They didn’t mind what he did to other women, they didn’t even mind if his wife, Hillary, bashed the women he abused and supported him. And most men either thought or said out loud, “All I can say is, I wish I could have just five minutes with Monica!”

I heard these same reactions outside of the classroom as well!

Imagine if you can, how I felt. And how it makes me feel right now as I write this. So, yes, all of this affects me deeply. And maybe I have been silent for way too long.

So if anyone wants to know how men and women have been able to vote for Trump, it is because of what the left taught us all during the Clinton presidency. And by the way, Clinton didn’t just talk vulgar about women, he acted out his vulgarity against women and probably still is today. And the left still welcomes him and Hillary with open arms. And if Trump hadn’t won, Hillary would be President. And well, we wouldn’t even be having these conversations.

One of the reasons we are not getting anywhere with these types of discussions is because from the outside looking in, it doesn’t seem as though we really care about this issue unless the guy is on the opposite political party that we support.

If we are going to have these discussions and we really want change then we need to keep it honest, or else we just look like hypocrites too. And everything we are saying to or about the Republican Party is being met with deaf ears because all they hear is a bunch of hypocrites trying to use this issue for their own political agenda. And for many, this isn’t too far from the truth.

Honesty, laying all the cards on the table, is the ONLY way to really be believed that we as women actually even care about this issue too. We have to be upset and stand up against such behavior no matter what political party is abusing women.

So do men need to wake up? Yes. But so do women when it comes to this issue, or else we seem just as disingenuous as the very men we are speaking out against and to.

So no, I don’t believe everyone is really even upset that Donald Trump is a narcissist. I think people are upset because he is an overt narcissist. I think people are upset because he is not their narcissist. No one on the left has minded at all the years of covert narcissists that have been on the left. They actually think it was quite charming.

So if you want to know how and why people voted for Trump, it isn’t really all that hard to figure out. Many of the people bashing him are the very ones who helped to get him elected. People on the right are fed up with the hypocrisy of the left… the party of supposed compassion and tolerance. If we learned anything over the past eight years of the former presidency, these are only words used to manipulate and silence anyone who does not agree with them.

And the evidence of this has been seen in their response to Trump’s presidency. Where were all of you when the right felt every bit as worried and fearful as you do now when your man was in office?

No one gathered around the right to try and bring them in and make them feel heard and accepted. All the right received was more dissension and if they opened their mouths to speak at all, they were called racists and terrorists. So no, they don’t believe you really care about this issue, not at all. Most people think you only care because he is not on the right side, or should I say the left side, of politics.

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29 thoughts on “To Answer The Question Why?

        1. As you know, when too many things keep going wrong in your life it is very hard to process them much less heal from them. Especially, it is too difficult and complicated to do alone. Thank you so much for your kindness! That was so sweet of you! ♥️

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        2. I was very terrified of ever seeing another therapist! I spent years feeling as though that was no longer an option for me. Unfortunately, I just kept getting worse and stopped living life at all. My depression got so bad… I lived in so much fear. And I was having so much anxiety and panic attacks without knowing what was wrong with me. A friend and my husband encouraged me to at least try therapy again. And it took me four different therapists before I found the perfect match in my current therapist. She is going VERY slow and letting me feel in control. I feel very blessed to have found her and to be able to receive help after all this time. I think for so many of us suffering with trauma, things could have been different if we had been able to receive the help and support we needed earlier in life. Thank you! Just receiving and experiencing kindness is very emotional! Your support and kindness means so very much! I am truly touched! ♥️

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        3. Yes, I think God knew that! Although I did spend many years afraid of being abandoned by my husband. It is a miracle we are still together. Neither of us knew what was wrong with me during these years. Trauma just makes life so terribly hard, especially when it comes to relationships. ♥️

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        4. It was excruciating. We often think, if we just had a partner our lives would be so much better. But the real challenges begin when we do. As I am sure you have experienced. It is hard to even trust a friend. When we have been neglected, abandoned, and abused as children, the most frightening things we experience in life are love and connection. This is something that is very hard for many to understand. It is a very exhausting way to try and live life. We made it without even knowing what the craziness was. I must say though, and I know this is nearly impossible, I do try to keep the struggle (as much as possible) internalized. Hence the deep depression and panic attacks. It is strange, we long so much for love and connection… the very things that frighten us the most! Yes, there is hope for you. And with the awareness and knowledge you now have, well it still will not be easy but hopefully it can help you to process it all differently. I don’t know if it will ever be easy for us, but with the right person it certainly is possible. I do wish you much love and happiness in your future! ♥️

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  1. We’ve been exposed to so much sexualization of
    women that most women consider it “normal”. And because it is considered normal it makes it easier for abuse to take the next step. It truly is a sad time we are living in.
    You are so right about this not being a political issue (or rather it shouldn’t depend on ones preference of a political party) Abuse is abuse period.
    Thank you this was very timely.

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  2. Blue, I am so sorry about all that happened to you in the past. From what I can decipher from my conversations and reading of your posts now you currently have a caring husband now and a pretty goo therapist that are discussing some other strategies to hopefully help you to recover from all you past trauma or to at least help you to cope with it a little better and to give you some more hope for a more positive future. Just remember for all the bad people you encountered in life, there are so many wonderful people out there as well and hopefully it will be your time to finally have more of the “good” people encounters verses the “bad” ones. Also very interesting post concerning all the political issues and reasons for why and how Trump became our president. Luv Gary

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    1. Yes, I do have a loving husband and a good therapist now. It is a huge help. Trusting isn’t easy… so even positive relationships have their challenges. I certainly do have more hope for a positive future, which is no small thing! Thank you for your thoughtfulness and kind words! I appreciare you very much Gary!

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  3. This is a great post.
    So sorry about your difficult experiences you write about.
    I felt very confused by people’s reactions to Bill Clinton, especially women. I’d seen some other injustices toward women that had confused me as well before Bill Clinton came along. I felt like I was living in an alternate universe.
    I’ve had some online political discussions regarding Trump/Clinton. Bill Clinton has a pretty ugly history. Went back and forth with a woman about whether Bill Clinton was a sexual predator, and she just wouldn’t go there, no matter what I brought up. People choose to believe Trump is a predator and not Bill Clinton.
    Many people marginalized Monica Lewinsky including Hillary Clinton.
    I feel it is very odd how women can dance around Bill Clinton’s history but are very enraged by Trump.

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  4. I also find it odd that I don’t hear very many women in real life, or even online, express what you are saying here.
    I voted for Jill Stein, a third party candidate.
    I thought Hillary would win, but just couldn’t vote for her. 2016 was an awful year politically.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes, it was! I have to say, I was quite scared to post this! My husband has been trying to encourage me to write my passions for years. He was surprised I finally was able to. I think I have fears of being stoned to death for speaking my truth. I don’t know where the courage came from, but it surprised me too. It is wonderful to know I am not alone in these feelings. Maybe the opposing voices on this issue are just louder! We live in a world with a very warped view of what it means to be a man or a woman… views that don’t define me! Thank you so very much for your support! You are so right in everything you shared! ♥️

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  5. Blue, that was a powerful and thought-provoking blog. I understand your fear of posting it.

    The objections that you are raising are a precise description of the negative aspects of the group dynamics in our society. With what you have written you are not just criticising and intervening with the behavior of the individual covert or overt narcissistic political leaders. You are threatening the system behind each of them. And that is probably a scary thing for some of your readers who are sympathizing with one political party or another.

    It is a deep human desire to feel connected to other human beings and have a sense of belonging. So we join or identify ourselves with organizations, political parties, religious groups etc. and their values. It gives us a feeling of safety.

    Unfortunately, organizations are too often lead by narcissists. (You named a few of them.) We are making it very easy for them to make us buy their lies and accept their wrongdoings. One of the reasons for that is: to confront them is to risk the institution (thus presumably our own safety). So people will bow and submit to the narcissist for a long time before often things finally explode.

    Sexual harassment/abuse and its pioneer, sexually offensive talk, is not a pardonable offense, nor is its the passive acceptance by turning away and ignoring it.

    In the end, we are all individually responsible for our deeds and decisions. There is no hiding in groups and passing on of own responsibility to leaders or anybody else.

    You and your readers might like the following talk “Narcissism and the Systems It Breeds” by Diane Langberg.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Jens, these were some interesting thoughts! Thank you for your support. Also, the video by Diane Langberg is perfect for understanding how easy and destructive it is for us to support a narcissist as a group! Thank you! ♥️

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